See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
