You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just invented taco cereal.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
