it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
