If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
