Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
