is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
