She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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