remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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