I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
