i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
