I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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