Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
