Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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