It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
