And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just high enough for therapy.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
