he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
