so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
