my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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