the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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