YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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