You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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