Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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