the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
how does that bad decision feel?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
