i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
