well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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