I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
