did you get engaged???
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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