Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
