??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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