All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
