im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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