very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I did not marry a roomba.
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