So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize