just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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