i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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