you guys were way drunker than both of me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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