I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
