Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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