non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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