Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
