i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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