Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
