he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
