too bad you live with your parents still
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Fuck appropriateness.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
