it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
