ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
