ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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