I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
