I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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