from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
