You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
