Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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