i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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