Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
