If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
