Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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