I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
