There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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